These high doses of steroids make it hard to sleep. I feel tired and want to sleep, but sadly enough my “sleep better medicine” isn’t really helping me enough tonight. And as I lay in bed trying to relax enough to fall asleep, all I can keep thinking about is how LUCKY I am and how GRATEFUL I am. A lot of people have told me that Chris and I have been so positive through all of this. We are. We decided there is no other choice. But, don’t be deceived. We. Are. Not. Perfect. We have moments where we are frustrated, mad, sad, cry (I cry, he doesn’t), think it’s not fair…we are human. And even so, there are reasons why I can’t help but feel grateful and lucky. Here’s just a couple:
OUR PRAYERS AND MY DOCTORS SMARTS ARE WORKING! Yesterday, for the 3rd time, I jumped for joy as I heard Dr. Cheng say he could not feel the lump. Still immeasurable. He smiles and pats my back like he passed me the ball and I scored the goal. I think we did!!!! We’re a great team.
WE HAVE AN AMAZING SUPPORT SYSTEM! Prayers, meals, caring for my kids, cards, gifts, love, etc. Thank you, thank you, thank you. What seems like a little thing to you – a text, a Facebook message, an email, a card, a comment on a blog post – they TRULY make my day and mean more than you can know.
MY KIDS HAVE BEEN AMAZING THROUGH ALL OF THIS! Their world has been turned upside down and they are handling it better than I could have ever hoped.
WE HAVE INSURANCE! The bills are rolling in. And BIG bills they are. Our portion is high, but when we see the total cost…it’s enough to fall out of your chair. We keep wondering how do people do this when they don’t have insurance? How do people do this when they don’t have a steady income? This will not be easy for us financially, but I know we’ll get it figured out. What worries me most is not paying the bills, but trying to keep things normal for our kids. I don’t want to tell them that they can’t take gymnastics, play soccer, or piano because the budget has now become “keeping mommy alive.” There are also school supplies, new clothes for school, registration fees. Both girls’ birthdays in October, not to mention Christmas. Ugh! Somehow we’ll figure this all out. But…grateful because one of the best parts of my job is that I can still reach out to people and get a paycheck from home. We are grateful.
And LUCKY because…
I am young and my body is strong. I look around the lab, the breast care center, the chemo room, and see people of all ages, shapes, and sizes. I was saddened on my 2nd round of chemo which also happened to be the first day I got MY good news that my tumor had shrunk. I went up to the Day Hospital for chemo on cloud 9, only to see a man donating a bunch of magazines. He was saying goodbye and telling the registration ladies that this particular day was their last time. His mom would be going to hospice. She had fought a hard battle and it was time to try something else. Big reality check. On any given day, some people get good news and some people get bad news.
Chris and I talk a lot about how wonderful it will be, God willing, when doctors can just say “You’ve got cancer. It’s ok. Here’s your shot or here’s the medication you need to take.” Boom. Done. Gone.
In that spirit of someday swallowing a single pill to rid the cancer, don’t forget my THINK PINK Lip Gloss Drive ends JULY 31 (which is today or tomorrow, depending on when you are reading this.) 25% of the sale of each lip gloss is going to the Froedert Cancer Center where I am being treated so these doctors who are doing continual research can take us closer to that step. But, you know what you might not realize, (in the spirit of being a little selfish here) is that all of my become sales helps my family pay the bills too. This is my job and this is where I get my paycheck. If you’re up for checking out a little bit more of the line…I’m not going to stop you. In fact, let me know so I can get you samples or give suggestions.
So it’s a DOUBLE THANK YOU! THANK YOU to those of you who have already ordered and THANK YOU for supporting my family too. So far I have 70/100 sold. If you are so inclined to help me GIVE BACK, treat yourself to an awesome lipgloss, surprise a couple friends, OR guys…score big points with your wife/girlfriend/even your mom! Order at www.mybecome.net/jamiehansen Then choose “Shop Now” and “Colour” from the left hand side. We can all have pretty lips for a good cause!
Here’s the original THINK PINK post if you want more info: http://lifeasweknowit.badgerfan00.com/?p=320
Since I can’t sleep, I’m off to make some blankets for some great kids.
Let’s be grateful together…add some Gratefulness in the comment section!